Victim
by Delillium
Summary: Sawyer becomes a victim to his own self-destruction one day when lying out on the beach, and soon finds himself in a dazed haze after an intense heat stroke. And who is this person he's hallucinating? Set in Season One.
1. Deserving

Victim

* * *

He deserved it. He deserved every minute of it. Every minute of the sun beating down on him.

He was in a mood.

Not one that he'd ever admit, but that others resigned as pure laziness and didn't give a seconds more thought.

He was definitely in a mood. A mood for self-destruction.

Whenever someone got angry, truly angry, he could feel their anger. Feel it boil and simmer in very _own _blood, as though the moods were being transmitted into him. Then slowly, it cooled down into one single emotion.

Uselessness.

The sudden reality that he needed to be beat up, pinned up, slapped up. Anything. He needed to be punished for living. It wasn't that he liked it, it wasn't that he wanted it, it was about the fact he deserved it. It was the the frivolous righteousness that he usually avoided, but this was a matter that he needed to deal with.

Was it some demon that plagued him? He didn't know. But it seemed as though, that he needed to be punished. That living was something of a luxury and that his life must be spent in total solitude, hatred, and physical punishment.

He was never particularly depressed though.

Just..worthless.

He wasn't crazy.

He wouldn't allow such a thing to conquer him.

His skin begun to burn beneath the rays, but the only place turning red was his cheeks. The suns rays were too hot to actually cook him externally. They worked only internally.

He knew this. He wasn't stupid.

When he suddenly begun to feel cool, he knew what was happening all at once. Though he didn't move a muscle to avoid the light.

His arms and legs were stretched out, sprawling in the white sand that blew over him slowly, taking along with it, his sandy-blonde hair.

He swallowed.

Dry.

It was when a sudden shadow overtook his sight, that he opened his eyes and came face to face with the looming figure of a woman. Namely, Shannon. She looked down curiously.

"You won't get a tan with your clothing all on."

"Wasn't aiming to, now get out of my sunlight, Barbie."

She rolled her eyes, sucking down a few more gulps of water before extending her arm, "You haven't left there for an hour."

He shrugged within the confines of the bed of sand, "Leave me alone. If I wanted water, I'd get up and get some."

She shrugged and turned away, waking back up the beach to her own towel and month old magazine.

He payed no mind.

He wasn't even in the mood to flirt.

And so within five more minutes time, he had decided something within his mind.

If no one helped him in the next five minutes, he'd lie there and fight off anymore help he tried to receive. If someone came, he'd get out of the sunlight.

It was in five more minutes that the Korean man he still had yet to catch the name of, looked at him oddly. But said nothing, leaving back into the woods to head back to the cavern, bringing with him, freshly caught fish.

He was alone.

He closed his eyes, feeling his heart begin to beat quicker. His skin stopped sweating. It was chilly.

He shivered, yet didn't move.

His his heart quickened, into his throat, and suddenly. Nothing made sense.

Where was he? What sort of hell had his body been rendered to become? Hot, dry, itchy. He couldn't move. His head throbbed.

Why had he done this?

When had he done this?

What was going on?

How did he plan on surviving this infernal illness that had overtook him now?

Who was it, standing above him? Shouting, screaming?

Why was it, that the sand was vibrating?

Why?


	2. Unnerving

Victim

* * *

His eyes pealed open, slowly, but surely. A figure loomed over him, telling him to be still. To stay quiet.

However, Sawyer was never one to exactly follow rules.

"Wha-.. happen-...?"

"Sawyer, you've just suffered a heat stroke, I need you to try and drink some water. I've tried before but..you just spit it out or choke."

Sawyer didn't respond, slowly shutting his eyes to block out the insistent light that attempted to seemingly blind him. "Sawyer, if you don't..I'll have to start pushing fluids down your throat. With a tube."

Sawyer swallowed dryly, he wished he could respond. Wished he could sit up. He was almost forced to succumb to the weakness that befell him. He let out a shaky breath of air, gasping in air as he begun to choke. His throat was too dry.

Jack sat him up quickly, "He's severely dehydrated. Charlie, I need you to get Sawyer's things. He might be here for a while. Backpacks, books, glasses, everything."

"Sure." He replied eagerly, practically bursting from the cave where Sawyer's distress only got more and more severe.

"Kate, I need you to go into the second drawer. Get the tubing. Sun, a bottle of water."

The two women burst off, grabbing the equipment and supplies hastily. Sweat formed upon the brow of the nervous doctor as he held the half-conscious cowboy, hitting his back softly as he choked, then gasped, and choked some more.

Kate gave him the tubing which then Jack asked her to hold up Sawyer. She did so, watching with dismay as he stuck the tubing down into Sawyer's throat. Which did not lie easy with him. He tried to pull it out quickly, gripping his hands around the infernal plastic.

"Sawyer, if you do this, you'll only choke worse." Jack warned quickly, to which the weak Sawyer abided.

Jack took the bottle Sun held out to him and stuck the tubing inside the bottle top, he slowly tilted the bottle, allowing little by little, the water to fall down into his throat.

Sawyer moved uneasily, obviously uncomfortable with the cold entering his throat within having to swallow. It was, to say the least, odd.

"He's gonna be okay, right?" Hurley whispered, looking on warily with a hint of concern lining his features, "I mean, why was he laying out there, anyway? Claire said he wouldn't drink or..anything.."

"I don't know, Hurley. But, the truth is, that's _not _my main concern right now." Jack replied curtly, not sparing a moment of time to even glance at the other man before slowly pulling out the tubing.

He poured the water onto the cloth that rested on his head, but with a quick hand-check, found his temperature had no budged.

"Damn it." Jack whispered, "We need to get him into the uh.." He wiped his forehead with the sleeve of his shirt, quickly. "over there, beneath the water. Quick."

Jack moved around to put an arm around his shoulder, as Hurley stepped in as well, putting Sawyer's arm around his shoulders.

"Sawyer, I need you to wake up." Jack boomed as they slowly took him to the water, "Sawyer, if you don't wake up, you could go into shock when I put you in this water."

No response.

Jack shrugged his arm off, Hurley turning around to hold him beneath both arm-pits, and faced the doctor. He put the back of his hand to the unconscious man's forehead.

"We're going to have to put him under anyway and hope it doesn't bring shock." He murmured, "I don't think it'll be severe if it does.."

"One, two, three.." Jack murmured. Hurley stuck him beneath the crashing waterfall.

Sawyer gasped, his eyes snapping open like curtains and he coughed, thrashing beneath the water, gasping and gasping.

Continuously gasping.

"Sawyer, it's okay. Everything's okay." Jack assured, Hurley returning the same words with the added _'man'_ at the end.

"F-F-F...S-Sand! S-Sand!" Sawyer practically screeched, his fingernails running deep into Hurley's arm.

"Ow, dang it.." Hurley murmured, pulling at his fingers to release him.

"Sand? What about it?" Jack muttered, putting a hand to his forehead again.

Sawyer pulled away, eyes still open. "S-Sand! S-Sand! Sand! Sand!" He screamed as though it were the key to life itself. Slowly, however, he stilled. And he breathed normally, swallowing slowly.

Jack put a hand to his back, "What about sand? What about the sand?"

Sawyer looked at him quietly, "V-Vibrating?" He murmured, putting a hand to his head. "Vibrating. V-Vibrating."

"You mean the seizure. You had a seizure in the s-..oh. Oh, the sand vibrated around you but..you didn't know you were having a seizure?"

Sawyer looked at him, disheartened by these words. "..."

Jack shook his head, "You need sleep, Sawyer. You just need sleep."

Sawyer slowly nodded before turning his head to see his location within the cave, a million people's eyes staring at his every move. Pity in their eyes.

"D-D...n't...-eel...d...for me." He slurred, hatred underlying his tone, though he was dragged quickly, off to a hand-made cot, on which, he finally slept.

* * *

"No, he's making a full recovery..but.."

"But what?" The words were shot quickly by none other than John Locke who looked curiously at the doctor, his eyes searching the sleeping body of the young man off a little ways from the group who sat within the cave.

"If..and this is a big if..._If _he has brain damage, we'll have to adapt to that. There is a small chance he may have gotten some brain trauma-"

"How will..we know?" Kate whispered quietly, her eyes shining with sympathy as she diverted her stare to Sawyer who slept, sweating profusely.

"..He'll show certain...symptoms. Now, brain damage does not necessarily mean he'll be in a coma. It can range from simple things such as, forgetting your left and right, or getting a little confused when words are said fast. There's also the chance he's only suffered minor shock which will mot certainly go away. Sometimes they share symptoms."

Sawyer opened his eyes, blearily looking at the group whose eyes caught his, to which they reacted quickly. Jack stood, making his way to Sawyer who attempted sitting up.

"How do you feel?"

No response came of his question, and Jack's brow furrowed in anticipation as he pealed his eyelids open to examine each pupil. "Sawyer, I'm gonna need an answer."

"Shit.."

"More than word."

jack leaned back slightly, watching Sawyer swallow and cock his head. His eyes weren't focusing.

"Sawyer, come on. Stay with me. Look at me. How are you feeling? Explain to me why you were laying out in the sun. How much money was in your pockets on the plane? Anything?"

"Calm down, Im fine.." He whispered gruffly, letting a cough. A bottle of water was being handed to him within the minute.

Sawyer eyed it warily, but nodded in a thank you before gulping it.

"Slowly, you'll go into shock. You definitely don't need that at the moment. Okay, we'll just be going through a few simple tests to make sure you didn't get brain damage, alright?"

"Whatever you say."

"Which way is your left?"

"You're fucking with me."

"Left?"

Sawyer jutted a thumb to the left.

Jack nodded, "Right?"

"My other left."

Jack gave a half grin, "It's just procedure. What's two plus two?"

Sawyer looked at him quietly.

"Sawyer?"

His eyes moved away from his face, focusing in on what appeared to be the group, and perhaps this would have been the intelligent guess as to what he was staring at, but instead, he was looking at the new edition.

A tall man, equipped with cowboy boots, a hat, and a large belt buckle. He stood silently, not a peck of dirt anywhere.

A hallucination.

"Sawyer, are you having difficultly with the equation?"

"Wha-?"

"Two plus two, Sawyer."

"Four."

Jack looked at him warily, "Four plus three."

"S-..Seven."

"Okay. If I had three apples, and there were six people. What would I do to each of them?"

"Cut them in half.." Sawyer replied smirkily.

Jack nodded, "Alright, you think you're strong enough to get up?"

Sawyer sighed, heaving a soft groan as he stood. A wave of dizziness hit him which Jack assured was normal and Sawyer nodded, moving forward.

"Okay, go get on of those bottles, put some water in them, and then drink it. Okay?"

"Is this some kind of show to you, Doc?" Jack questioned, intensity suddenly flaring in his eyes.

"Mood swings. It's a sign of brain damage."

Sawyer rolled his eyes, "Alright, alright Look? I'm doing it."

Jack smiled quietly in mirth before watching him with great care as he dipped his cup into the water, filled it, and took a short sip. "Okay. Am I off the hook?"

"Yeah, but, Sawyer. Do you remember screaming about sand?"

"No."

"Do you remember why you were laying out on the beach for eight hours?"

"Nope."

"I don't believe you for some reason, but fine. Charlie brought your stuff, you'll need to be resting in the cave for a while and that means no working. You're officially on bed rest. Read and be lazy."

"Like usual?" Kate snidely remarked with a glint of laughter in her tone as she playfully punched the blonde who sat down slowly on a rock beside the waterfall.

"Sure, sure. Laugh it up, Freckles. Pick on the retard. You know I'm brain damaged right? I have mood swings. I guess all women are brain damaged, Jack?"

Kate looked offensively towards Sawyer and then at Jack. "Wait, what?"

"Ignore him."

"Oh, the usual. Good." Kate replied, nodding before heading back out of the cave, an empty backpack in hand, "I'm collecting fruit. "She yelled back.

Sawyer sighed, cracking open a book from his backpack, Charlie sliding in beside him.

"I brought your stuff. Nothings taken. Promise." He showed his usual goofy grin.

Sawyer would have laughed had his head not been pounding with pain and the man with the cowboy hat staring down at him from right in front of him.

"Alright, reject. Thanks. Thanks. But you're not getting payment. I'm retarded."

The former rocker stood, his eyes glaring down at Sawyer. "I had an uncle who was retarded."

"Boo-hoo."

"Well..I didn't know him very well but.."

"Exactly."

Charlie opened his mouth to say more, but closed it quickly. "Whatever."

Sawyer allowed the smallest of a smirk to cross his face.


End file.
